April 23, 2023


For me there’s no greater Bible quote than “The truth shall set you free”! It’s also one of the most difficult philosophies to abide by in life. We have a tendency as people to modify the truth or rationalize to ourselves that the truth will only cause more harm than a little “white lie”. I’m the first to raise my hand when asked “who has lied”? But I’m also the one who will, and has, suffered the consequences of those “lies”. The point here is to always weigh the choices we make when deciding to tell the truth or to sugarcoat the truth. Sometimes what we thought was a little white lie turned into many more lies and soon we are lost in the translation. This is sadly the truth in the addiction world and in life itself.

I’ve known too many people who have gotten lost in their own lies. The irony here is the most damage is done to themselves and their abilities to tell the truth and face the rewards or consequences of those truths. I’m not here to preach to you whether to tell the truth or not. My goal is to strip you of the rationalizations that go along with not telling the truth. In other words, “REAP WHAT YOU SOW!”, another of my favorite Bible quotes.

The greatest lie is when we lie to ourselves about our present conditions, an everyday occurrence in the lives of addicts, but also in everyday lives. Once you have taken the path of lying to others you have also condemned yourself to a life where excuses sum up who you are! You will often find yourselves in the present state of depression, sadness, loneliness and worst of all, unhealthy lives. You’ll begin to convince yourselves that you lied for the greater good or for the last time to get high, but that will not fill the void inside of you that grows exponentially with every occurrence.

I’ve been in many situations and relationships where I’ve lied to myself and those around me believing that it’s for the best. I’ve also paid the price for that “distorted belief”. It wasn’t until I pretty much lost everything that I realized how freeing the truth was and remains. To this day, I’ve still benefitted and have been rewarded for a life driven on transparency and truth. But that doesn’t mean I’m not continuously susceptible to taking the easier path of lying about important decisions in my life. In fact, the more material things I’ve attained the more pressure to protect it with lies. It’s a human struggle or condition that constantly tests us.

In the addiction world, lies are an everyday reality. Clients driven by the craving demon will do whatever it takes to get that next high. Unfortunately, I have personally witnessed it with loved ones as well as my own dark time. In treating thousands of clients in my groups I have never had anyone disagree with that statement. I have often tormented myself with the question loved ones always face. “Is my loved one a pathological liar?” “Are they too far gone?” “Did I enable them?”  And so on and so on. You get my drift. The web of lies spins us into a cocoon surrounded by darkness.

However, the greatest lies we tell…… are to ourselves. In order to begin a path to “inner peace” we first need to face our own truths, or the lies we have convinced ourselves of. That means doing an honest inventory of your current conditions and situations. It means, at the least, recognizing that we have created our own realities and stopping blaming others for our situations. If we have lied to ourselves about our current state, then we need to accept the consequences of those lies. We need to face the harsh realities of change. More transparency and truth are an effective way to start!


Mind, Body, Spirit…Balance!