To get sober one only needs to stop drinking and drugging. However, healing from the debris trail left behind takes time and effort! When you add mental health issues it will take longer. Too many people who have had addiction problems expect an instant reward for stopping their substance abuse. In fact, even families and loved ones of substance abusers sometimes expect it. That is just not going to happen and is often the reason for so many relapses.
Since entering the substance abuse field over a decade ago there has been one constant theme, substance abusers and their loved ones tend to believe that sobriety will resolve their current mental health issues, past traumas, and current situations. This is not even remotely true. It is quite the opposite. Now sober, you will need to start the recovery process, and the trail of debris left behind.
I cannot stress enough in my groups that once you are sober you can now expect the fallout from the weeks, months, and sometimes years of abuse and the negative impact it has had on all those around you, as well as yourselves. After that, comes the reality of starting over and staying sober while beginning to address any mental health issues you may have.
It is imperative that mental health and past unresolved life events be addressed while you are working on your recovery. If you do not address these issues, then remaining sober will be a constant struggle. Present events will often trigger “Flashbacks,” anxiety, depression, and other symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Healthy grounds such as recovery meetings and sponsors can only do so much before you may become overwhelmed and seek the comfort you found with drugs and alcohol (unhealthy grounds).
In my Resolution Focused Therapy© (RFT), I consider sobriety a healthy ground (e.g., recovery meetings, exercise, writing, art, etc.) and a temporary way to stave off symptoms from your past unresolved issues.
A healthy ground is needed for those suffering from mental health or past unresolved trauma issues. In these cases, sobriety is like a band aid slapped on those past unresolved issues.
If you only rely on sobriety to deal with your past, then you will be vulnerable to triggers and other symptoms of unresolved trauma that may become too much to manage, and the band aid will be ripped off, sending you back to your unhealthy grounds. (e.g., drugs, alcohol, unsafe sexualized behaviors, gambling, etc.) for relief of the symptoms.
My point to this blog is “Sobriety Is Instant, Healing Takes Time!” I constantly speak to clients about expectations and the dangers they present for people in recovery, or for that
matter, people in general. Expecting anything post treatment is highly risky especially in the addiction treatment world. I have seen a countless number of clients relapse because of their post treatment expectations.
Many clients believe that sobriety will immediately bring them some sort of reward or happiness. Again, this could not be further from the truth. The expectation should be no more than what it is, sobriety, which needs to be enough for now.
Sobriety brings a clearer mind to begin the work necessary to clean up the months and years of negative consequences from substance abuse, and when you add any mental health and/or medical issues, that process will take some more time. Add past unresolved trauma to the mix and additional time is needed to be able to process not only the obstacles of addiction, but also the effects of unresolved issues in your lives. So, do not expect sobriety to solve all your problems, expect nothing and you will not be disappointed.
In all my groups, both in-patient and out-patient, I stress the need to strengthen your mind, body, and spirit to achieve a balance in your lives. Once sober, you need to begin that journey if you intend to improve all aspects of your life. This journey takes work beyond just getting sober.
Now, please do not get discouraged. Healing takes time. Sobriety is the beginning of getting your lives back, healing is the beginning of finding peace and happiness for the remainder of your lives.
Mind, Body, Spirit…Balance!
Vinnie Strumolo, CEO, LMFT
